Remember to Be
6:00 AM
I drafted the beginnings of five posts before I finally decided what topic I was going to cover. And while I tried to take my struggle to find a topic and use it in this post, I couldn't really think of a way. My point telling you this is that it's 1:30 and I'm not even really sure what I'm going to talk about today. But I'm human, just like all of you. And sometimes, I'm just not put together.
You see, I've been feeling this a lot lately. I've had loads to do, loads to say, loads to think, loads to accomplish. And it's been drowning me. I don't know where to start, and I don't know how to prioritize. Just when I think I'm doing okay, that I'm getting part of this massive, endless to-do list done and can finally take a break and b r e a t h e, I remember something else I haven't done. Something someone else is waiting on me to accomplish.
It really sucks.
And I've been beating myself up about it. I can't think. I can't truly apply myself to any one task because I'm so focused on all the other things I need to be doing. While I'm studying for bible bowl, I remember that I need to critique my partner's chapter. And that novella a writing friend is waiting on me to get back to her on. Oh, and editing articles for Project Canvas. And figuring out how the last half of my own WIP is going to go, finishing draft two before nano so I can write the book I want to write in November, and hopefully get my WIP out to betas next year. Not to mention plotting out said nano book, which I've attempted to do three times already.
And those are just the writer things I have to do.
There's so much more, and it makes me want to rip my hair out. I'm about to start my senior year of school. I've got to do adulty stuff. I just got a job, which I'm super excited about. But there's more time, gone. I don't know how I'm going to handle it yet.
And let's not forget about my faith. I try to study God's word every morning and every night. That's my goal. That's my standard. Every time I fail to meet that standard, which is quite often, I'll have you know, I feel like a failure.
What's the point of all this? If you're still reading this, you deserve a round of applause. I'm pretty sure I'm rambling at this point.
But let me tell you something.
Life is a road. At different times, in different scenarios, I imagine those roads looking a little different. In this case, this road is a forest path. And it's so easy to keep plowing forward, focusing on where you need to go. Do, do, do.
Stepping forward is important. But don't let your eyes be glued to the path ahead so that you forget to look at what's around you. See those flowers, lining the path? See that deer grazing in the trees? Those birds, fluttering overhead?
"But I can't look at all that," you protest. "This path is full of roots. It's narrow. I'm going to trip and fall."
Sure. You might trip. You might fall. But God gave you the ability to get back up again. And don't forget--He's right by your side, and He's walking with you.
You are not on this road alone. Remember to let yourself be.
I love the way Anne Lamott puts it. "bird by bird." Life is a road, and that road you walk? It's full of steps. One step doesn't seem to carry you far, and sometimes it's a small, halting step. But that step is one of many, and without them, you'd be right in the same place you started.
Let yourself be while you do. Take life on step at a time, bird by bird, and remember in the meantime that you're a human being. So be.
This is your 895th installment of Hannah's Late Night Rambles. I hope you were able to make sense of my brain thoughts XP
Are you swamped with to-do's? Are you studying your road? Or are you charging ahead with your head down? Maybe it's time for you to try looking up.
<3
10 comments
*tackle hugs you* I'm so sorry that life's been that crazy busy for you right now! I KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE. And I need to try looking up more, because I'm a SUPER motivated person (... when I want to be ... xD) and when I want something badly, I don't stop at anything until it's done, which ALSO means that I don't 'take the time to look around' when I'm charging towards my destination. BUT I NEED TO. Because who knows what I'm missing? *wonders what I've already missed*
ReplyDeleteBUT ANYWAYS - this post was so awesome and I loved it and I never get tired of your ramblings because YOUR POSTS ARE JUST GOALS. <3 Thanks for sharing another epic Hannah-post!
~ Savannah | Scattered Scribblings
*tackle hugs you in return* As writers, too, I think it's super hard for us to stop and breathe because THE WORK GOES ON AND THERE IS LITERALLY NO END. I can write for hours and days and years because there are so many stories to tell. But you're right--who knows what we miss while looking at our computer screens?
DeleteOh man, thank you for this. Life right now is so overwhelming and stressful and just altogether anxiety-inducing. Goodness, I needed this reminder. <3
ReplyDelete<3
DeleteI relate so much, you basically described how my life has been this year.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to start looking up.
Yes, lift your chin! There's so much of life left to live.
DeleteI have so many things to do. So obviously I either switch rapidly due to stress, and therefore get nothing done on them, or I'm on Pinterest. Obviously. *headdesk*
ReplyDeleteNever mind. YOU GOT A JOB, THAT'S AWESOME. CONGRATULATIONS *confetti and lamingtons*
Jem Jones
Ahhhhh SAME. You're not alone! And also Netflix. Lots of Netflix.
Delete*dances in confetti* Thank you!!! I need to more properly announce it cause THIS WAS SUCH A CASUAL MENTION. But I'm pretty excited about it. :)
Ugh ugh ugh man I am SO bad at this skill and SO bad at remembering this?? I put a lot of pressure on myself, and a lot of expectations, and I'm a Huge Massive Failure when I don't achieve those things, so it's been rough for me lately as well. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteFeels Like Hope
*tackle hugs you* I get the Huge Massive Failure feeling. And I'm still trying to find the truth to that lie. Hang in there, fren. Also have I told you how much I love your new blog's name? I love your new blog's name :)
DeleteComments bring us happiness and warm fuzzies, so please share your thoughts! Stan and I want everyone to be welcome, so we ask that you be kind and courteous and use nice language.