In honor of my writing anniversary this year, I pulled down my bulky purple binder and began to read my first book.
Don't get me wrong. It's absolutely horrible. But it's also intriguing and fascinating to me (in a way I did not intend to make it when I wrote it). I've never really read my first book before. Sure, I went over it once and made notes [back when I was still serious about editing it and hopefully publishing it (HAAAAHA)] but I haven't, that I can remember at least, gone through and just read my book.
And my, is it interesting. Today, rather than giving you seven things I've learned in the style I've used in the past, I'm going to give you a few things I've noticed about my first book, and how they can help me, and hopefully you, in our writing journeys today.
(QUICK NOTE that Katie posted recently about her first book, and I couldn't help but think of her as I typed this up!)
#1: MOST AUTHENTIC 11 YEAR OLD VOICE EVER
The advantages to writing middle grade when you are in the middle grade is that you are the audience. And, more so than ever at that age, you write what you want to read.
The way I word things. The way I write description. The way I rationalize and think things through. The way I plan. The way I have my characters notice and observe and react to things. It's all so childish. And, for my purposes now, that's actually a good thing because it lets me know what a real eleven year old would think. It lets me know what kind of things they might notice, and how they might react to getting kidnapped or finding out they have magical powers. Even if the character's reaction isn't done well, you can still get a glimpse of the reaction in what happens.
#2: WE'VE COME SO FAR
There's nothing like looking back at your work and relishing in just how horrible it is. The writing is jerky, the plot is wild and often too coincidental. The characters are flat, they learn too fast, they all sound the same in dialogue ... and there's not really anything unique. There might be some good ideas, but the writing is so dull, that doesn't matter. There's nothing that makes your book stand out.
And then you look at your WIP. Maybe you're still in the first book stage, but I promise you that if you keep writing, and if you write a lot, you will get better. And, someday, you'll even get good.
It's so satisfying now to look back and see how different my first book and my fifth book really are. It took years of writing, hundreds of thousands of words, but I finally have something I can work on, something I know I can be proud of someday. I know what the mistakes are in my novel, and (for the most part) how to fix them.
I've come so far. And, whether you've been writing a week, a month, a year, five years, ten years--you've come from somewhere too. We all started, and we've all grown from that moment. So look back and let yourself appreciate just how bad you were at writing. It makes what you're doing now even more incredible.
#3: THEME HUNT
Writing has a way of slipping the hard things out of you. The fears and doubts, the insecurities. It reaches into our minds and is just small enough to grab hold of it, and it weaves it into your words. It's sometimes really hard to spot. I didn't realize it for years. I knew writing helped me emotionally, but I wasn't sure how or why. I just thought it was an escape.
But writing isn't really an escape. Because, in writing, we confront our deepest fears, our biggest questions, our deepest insecurities, and we line them up for all to see. It takes a discerning eye--often a writer's eye--to see these hidden gems. But they're what makes stories matter.
They're your theme.
If you're anything like me, you might have started out thinking you didn't write theme into your books. I had somehow come across a writing "tip" early on in my journey that basically said, "Don't lay out your theme or you'll be preaching." At the time, I only had a vague idea of what theme was, so my only thought was, "Oh dear. I better not do that." So for several years after, I never read any articles on the importance of theme. I thought they were all lies.
*sighs at young self*
Theme is so important. And I firmly believe that there is theme in every story ever written. It just takes a discerning eye to find.
Why is there theme in every story ever written?
Because in every story, we have a character. And a character, in a good story, must face something.
That's where theme comes from. It can be simple, or it can be complex. It can be countless things. We can mean to tell readers this encouraging information, or we can just ignore the fact that we're even writing theme.
But when I look at the first book I wrote, and when I study my characters, I find a girl who just wants to matter, and realizes that even though she felt like she didn't, she did. I see themes of what love should look like, of friendship and bravery and hope and trust. I didn't mean to put any of this into my story. It wasn't my intention when writing about a very special girl to make others feel hopeful and special themselves. And yet, as I read this book, that's the gentle message it sends. That you are important, and you matter. Even if the whole world is oblivious to your existence, that doesn't mean you don't have a place in it. Even if you feel useless and insignificant, that doesn't mean you are. You're here for a reason, and you just have to be brave enough to step out and find that reason.
These are all things I was unintentionally saying in my first book. They were things I, as a young girl, needed to hear myself. And I can only imagine how many other children out there need those kinds of messages. How many times have we seen The Chosen One trope in fiction? It's prominent for a reason.
When you look at your old writing, you're looking at a treasure map. It might take a little hunting and a little work, but once you find the key, you'll be swimming in the buried treasure of authentic children and the messages they need to hear most.
How long ago did you write your first book? Are you still writing your first book? Have you broken out of the everything-i-write-is-horrible stage, or are you still struggling to find your voice? (Don't give up! It just takes time, and a lot of writing.)
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