they say we are world changers // a poem

6:00 AM

In the wake of graduation, I've had a lot on my mind and heart. I wrote this poem earlier this week and thought I'd share it with you guys. Remember: it's okay to let yourself not be absolutely amazing. You're right where you need to be, and the big things will come in time. Let yourself find your feet first. <3

they say we are world changers
destined for greatness
we have the earth stretched before us
and the wind at our backs.
nothing is unattainable
so everything should be seized
no holding back, they say
make a difference
step out and become
what you were meant to be.

they ask where we're going
what our plans are
what we've accomplished
and when we don't answer quickly
they tell us
all the things we've tried to forget
how we've got plenty of time to figure it out
(so why do you keep asking?)
how it'll all come together
and they're sure it will be soon.
there's always tomorrow
(but what if there isn't?)
and there'll be a chance to
make a difference then.

they wonder what our plans are
what we aspire to
and I think why?
their eyes watch as
I fill out those college applications
and scholarship forms
somehow all that I do and have done
it just isn't enough
it will never be enough

but this is what we think.

we say
the world is massive.
why are you urging us to be the ones to change it?
we haven't really found our place in the world yet
we're new at this thing called life.
yes, I want to be a world changer
but can you stop looking at me?
I just stepped out my door
and now
the world is out before me
the largest thing I've ever seen.
I don't know it very well yet
so what makes anyone think i'm ready
or up to changing it?
I barely know what I'm doing
I barely know who I am
much less the world.

we ask
what more do you expect of us?
what will make you happy?
tell me
I'm dying to know
what the perfect new adult looks like to you
and once you begin your speech
I will wait for you to stumble
over your elegant description
when you realize this person you're describing
doesn't exist
cannot exist.
you formed an image in your mind
of us being
what you never were.
why do you think we can be perfect
when you could not?
we're all people,
aren't we?

we wonder
how much time do we have
before our chance is gone?
they say we are world changers
but they say nothing about themselves.
are they too old now?
too tied down?
too busy, too involved?
has their chance to make a difference come and gone?
will ours go, too?

they say we are world changers,
but how can we change a world we don't know?
they call us to action
but how can we act before we know what to act on?
there's so much left to see and learn
there's so much left to know
and the pressure is
building building building
nothing we do feels right anymore because
we're so small
nothing's changing
why aren't I making a difference?

oh, my friends.
I've heard it said
(not by me)
and I will say it to you now;
it's okay if you only change one person's world
and it's okay if that person is you.


Do you have any thoughts? Have you struggled with all the well meaning questions people ask you? 


Here Comes the Sun // some thoughts on summer

6:00 AM

Today is my graduation ceremony. I'm not one for big shows of such things. I like the quietness of moving on, of finishing something great. The silence and peace is reward enough for me.

But it does only happen once, and it's made me think a lot about how special this summer is. Someone at my local congregation told me, "This summer will probably be the first and only summer you'll ever have where you don't have to worry about work or school."

And that's true. Yes, I have a job. Yes, I'll be getting ready for college. But I'm at a unique transition from one type of school to the next. I'm not yet working full time with a career job.

Point being, this will be the first and only summer ever where I don't have the weight of school responsibilities on my shoulders. And I think that's both special and neat.

But you know what else it is?

An opportunity.

When presented with a good, once in a lifetime opportunity, I tend to do one of two things: plow into it with everything I have, or freak out and not take advantage of it.

But since the very reason this summer is special is because it's naturally stress-free, I want to take as much advantage of that as possible.

SO! Whether you're like me and just graduated and have a couple of beautiful months ahead, or whether you're still in high school or long graduated. Here are some ideas to make your summer special.

TRY SOMETHING NEW. The opportunities here are endless. Never been canoeing? Go canoeing. Never ice skated? Ice skate. (it'll feel amazing inside.) This summer, my main "new" thing is bullet journaling. I've been thinking about trying my hand at it for a while now, but I finally took the step and got a dotted journal Thursday night. So far, I'm loving it! I'm hoping to use it as a planner when I go to college.

TAKE ON A NEW PROJECT. And I don't mean something small, though a small project is perfectly fine. But I'm talking large scale here. Have a book you need to write? Write it. Need to deep clean your room, purging all your belongings, going through all your clothes, sorting books and reorganizing, etc.? Do it. And come tell me about it because that's what I'm in the midst of right now. I made a list in my bullet journal for the different parts of my room I need to tackle. Having little boxes to check off my list makes the massive project seem much more manageable!

TAKE ON AN OLD PROJECT. Maybe you have been working on a massive project--for five years, and you haven't really gotten anywhere. Now's a good a time as ever--better, actually--to rededicate yourself and give another go at it. Maybe it's a book you want to write or edit, or maybe it's a massive classic novel you've been meaning to read, or a scrap book or musical piece you've been wanting to learn to play.

CHALLENGE YOURSELF. I guess this can apply to all three suggestions above. Find something to push yourself. You've got time: take advantage of it. You might think you're too busy, but trust me. You have more time than you think. I've been reading This Changes Everything by Jaquelle Crowe, and the chapter I read yesterday talked about the different spiritual disciplines God commands of us. That really got me driven and inspired to put some of those into practice in my life. I memorized Psalm 119:11 last year, but I didn't really take the application to heart. This summer especially, but for the rest of my life, I want to be more dedicated to scripture memory, as well as reading and praying daily. As she says, these things are not just commanded of us, but they're done out of joy. And my heart is eager to serve Him!

I hope this post might have gotten your gears turning, or at least made you think about the summer ahead for you! I'm also doing Camp Nano in July, and I'm going to write another creepy middle grade novel. I'm super pumped about it. It's got forests and monsters and all that fun stuff. I can't wait to write a first draft again!

Do you have any summer plans? Any books you want to read? Write? Are you doing Camp Nano in July? Do you have any big projects you want/need to undertake?


Writing in the Cracks

6:00 AM

You know how I was so confident last week that I would post Saturday? As you can see, that didn't happen. SO. I have decided to alter my schedule a bit. Since this is a common struggle for me, I'm going to start posting on either Saturday or Sunday. That way if I don't end up getting it in time on Saturday, I can just put it up Sunday. Kind of a grace day concept. :)

Anywho. Just a minor update there! I had lots of graduation stuff going on and had written a partial post, but completely forgot to finish it. Let this be a mini note to give yourself grace. When something just isn't working for you and your schedule, try altering it or changing things up a bit instead of beating yourself up about it and trying to force it to work.

I have a new story idea. It came out of the blue last Friday, and it already has a journal dedicated to it and a 15 page document on my computer.

The unique thing about this book idea is that I've already started writing it. I don't really think of it as a book I'm currently writing, because I'm deep in edits for The Dream Walkers and it's not even a book I was planning to write next. Yet it rose from a topic that means a lot to me.

I've been trying to pin it down. Why am I writing this book? There's an idea I've had for several years that I am crazy excited about. I have so many pages of ideas, and I've brainstormed and made pinterest boards and All the Things for it. There's another idea that I want to write for July Camp Nano this year, similar in genre to the book I wrote a year before, The House at the End of the Lane. 

Both of those ideas, and countless others, have been around much longer. They're more fleshed out, and I've had a lot of time to think about and get excited for them. In other words, I have plans for them. And the funny thing about this book is that I have absolutely no plan for. At all. I don't know if it's something I want to publish. I don't know if I'll write it this year or in twelve.

But I do know that I need this story in my life. The main character is facing some of the same issues I am, in a different sense. And she is how I'm answering a lot of pressing questions. My book writing and planning process is very God-directed. I'm waiting for Him to lead the plot along. And the other day, when I got two very vivid scenes, I decided to write them. And just like that, I've got 5k of this random book that I only got the idea for a week ago.

Seems pretty random, doesn't it?

God is so cool. He takes our plans and tosses them out the window. He has much better ideas for us, if we are willing to hear His voice.

Part of me wants to dive headfirst into this idea. The other key pieces of the plot are just out of reach. I know if I tried really hard, I could probably get to them. But I realized something. This book is different. The idea is coming in a way no other has ever come before. And, as a result, this book is special. I believe God has a plan for it, and I'm going to trust in Him and His timing.

Write in the cracks. That's what came to me as I was writing up a note to explain how this project would work. Editing DW is top priority. But this book isn't going to be forgotten.

Long story short, you can work on more than one book at once. If you get tired of editing (does anyone not get tired of editing?), have another project that you can fall back on. Something that you don't just brainstorm on. Something that you can actually write. A way to unleash that creative desire. It's beautiful. It's healthy. It's new.

Write in the cracks of your life, in the bits of time you find waiting for you. Let writing bring you joy! That's part of why we do it, after all.

Do you work on multiple books at a time, or just one? 


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