Diagnosis: Laziness

6:00 AM

Back in *squints* was it really January? A WHOLE STINKIN' YEAR AGO? O.o Wow, does the time fly. Anyway, last year I made my first writer-blogger-bookish diagnosis. Recently I've been studying myself (don't worry, I have not yet extended my critical examinations to other humans.) and realized it might just be time for another diagnosis.

This weeks installment of Hannah's Definitely Professional Opinions?

Laziness.



I think laziness is a more difficult problem to spot. Why is that? Well, often times, we like our laziness. I have an hammock (given to me by my big brother who totally spoils me) and I love to hang it up in on definitely on the trees at a very safe distance from the ground don't worry. But when I climb into that nice, cocoon of warmth, I get sleepy. I lean back and cross my ankles and smile and gaze at the lovely world around me.

It's cozy. It's nice. It's relaxing.

But, ehem. I don't usually get much done. I might take out my science book or laptop, but somehow studying the viscosity of blood and the properties of hemoglobin just don't compete with sitting back and enjoying nature.

Yes, we need to sit back and enjoy nature every now and then. But not for three hours every day, at the expense of work we really need to be doing.

This line is so hard to walk. We need rest, but we can't let rest consume us. And we can't ignore responsibilities for the sake of recharging.

So where is the line? How do you do everything that you need to do, while still getting a healthy amount of rest? 

First suggestion? Make a list. So long as you keep all your to-do's floating around your mind, they will likely stay there. It's really hard to get All the Things done when you don't have a clear vision of what those things are. It makes laziness quite easy because we don't really know what we're supposed to be doing anyway, so why do anything at all? Might as well kick back and watch Netflix. 

Another suggestion would be to time yourself. Sometimes, we really do have an unfair amount of tasks at hand. It's just not possible to do them all in a day or a weekend. So keep track of how long you've been working so that you can allow yourself a break and not feel guilty about it. 

And my last thought would be to commit. Don't just make a list. Don't just watch the time. Say, "today, I am going to do this." And then do it. Tell someone else, and let them hold you accountable. If you want to reach a word count or finish a chapter, word wars are awesome. You can tell your buddies your goal, and they will fight you to it, and they won't let you go until it's done. 

Laziness is often a result of lack of preparation and thought. When we don't get a game plan or think things through, it's easy to just let it fall from our minds. Let's be more intentional. Let's be more determined. Let's put our chins up and chug down the copious amounts of coffee and get our game faces on. 

Make time for rest, but make time for responsibilities too. 

//

I hope you are all doing well! I've been struggling with laziness a lot this month. I've also found that laziness can be a self-defensive mechanism of sorts. A way of hiding from our fears and expectations. I'll delve more into that aspect of laziness next week. 

Do you struggle with laziness? Do you tend to let things fall to the wayside? What reasons do you find yourself doing this for? 

<3 

choice after choice / a poem

6:00 AM



I don't know about you
but I always imagined in the back of my mind
that the Garden of Gethsemane
was where the choice was made.
that in that moment
he decided to do it
to sacrifice himself
to die
to separate from His Father
and suffer a brutal
agonizing death
apart from God.
did Jesus have faith?
I think He must have had to
because in those moments
He was human
and humans fear.

so with fear in His veins
but God in his heart,
He stepped forward and let Judas kiss His cheek
let the soldiers drag Him away.

but you see, it wasn't over yet.

yes, there's more to the story
but that's not what I mean.
Jesus may have made a choice in that garden
or long, long before
(He came down to earth, did He not?)
but the moment the guards snapped the chains on His wrists
was not the moment of no return.

because Jesus was able to turn back
He was able to step away.
if He wanted to
He could have called down a legion of angels
thousands upon thousands of heavenly warriors
swords raised
light beaming from their faces
in defense of the Son of God
their Brother and King.

He could have looked down
and healed every wound on His body.
with a blink
He could have sent the whip
tearing His back apart
into a thousand flecks of dust.
He could have forced His will upon the screaming mass
and had them cry for Him to be released instead.
He could have asked the guards politely
to lower their weapons
and walk away
and they would have done it.

every single moment
every single breath
every heartbeat that passed
between those chains snapping around His wrists
and the final breath whooshing from His lungs
was a choice.
in any of those moments He could have cried,
"Father!"
and ended it then and there.
no more pain
but freedom
no more sin
but His Father's loving embrace.

but He didn't do it
because the only way He could truly finish it
was to do His Father's will.

so he let them snap the chains on His wrists
when He could have broken them like a twig.
He let the guards push and shove Him
and drag Him into the court
when He could have blinked and had angels at their throats.
He could have said over the screaming mob,
"bow before Me, the King of the earth!"
and every knee would have hit the pavement
if He so desired.
he could have called down God Himself
to lift Him down from the cross.

but He didn't.

instead He stood quietly
and humbly.
the courage He must have had
floors me
for Him to let them drag Him away
to beat Him
and spit on Him
and tear His back to shreds
(how did he hold out
and stay strong through every single lash?)
take a hammer and nail
and drive the stake into his wrists
(how many times did the hammer hit the nail?
how many shaky breaths did He take
to stay brave and let them do it?)
with every lash 
and every beat of the hammer
and every ragged breath 
as he lifted himself up by the spikes in his wrists
to draw in another painful breath
every single breath He had to choose to take
and not to call it all off.

He let them do it
He let them do it all.
because He loves us more
than His own life.

how can we love Him
any less?

we often ask ourselves
"would I die for Jesus?"
He died for us, after all.
but the harder question, I think
and the one I ask you now
is "will you live for Him?"


///

Sorry about my absence last week! And I come back now with an unusual post, but this is something I've been thinking about the last few weeks during the Lord's Supper. Jesus had so much courage, and I had never really thought about the fact that He had to keep choosing us. Because at any moment, He could have called it all off. Ended the agony, the suffering, the horror of the cross. But He didn't, and that is something so incredible, I will never be able to comprehend it. Our God is amazing.

How have you guys been? How has the new year started off for you? What do you think about during the Lord's Supper?

<3

Wisteria Writers Tag (to which i am allergic OOPS) + Early Writings

6:00 AM

So I had several mild allergic reactions today. And by the time I got home from work an hour before midnight, I was exhausted and my brain refused to come up with a good blog post. Then I remembered, I was tagged for this ages ago! And it's funny because FUN FACT ABOUT HANNAH #291: I am allergic to wisteria.

When I was eleven, I stepped out on our porch and got hit across the face with a wisteria vine (the thing infests our porch and simply will not go away). A couple of hours later, a sore had appeared, and by the end of the week my left eye and nostril were swollen shut.

Fun times, right? Anyway. I was tagged ages ago by Rachael to do this tag. Sorry it's taken me so long, Rachael!


1. Which is your favorite character you've written?

This should be a hard question to answer, but it's actually not. My favorite character ever to have written was Jack from The Call of Atlantis, the book I wrote with my cousin when we were thirteen years old. He's an ESTP and he's so funny and snarky and smart and witty and just amazing and I resonate with him on a deep level that I didn't fully understand until revisiting him recently. 


2. How many books have your read this year?

*grins sheepishly* one half?


3. What genre do you tend to write in?

I'm a fantasy girl at heart. 


4. Have you ever written a book and then immediately trashed it?

Surprisingly no? My writing start is a little unique in that I sat down and started writing a full-blown novel, and I finished it. I didn't jump around between projects until I finally found one that stuck. I started writing, and I didn't stop. 


5. How many books have you completed?

I have written 6 complete first drafts. Of those six, four of them have been through draft 2. And of those four, only one have I moved on to draft three with. I have yet to complete a third draft.


6. Do you work on multiple projects at a time?

Not usually. I sometimes take a break (like when I wrote my Baby Book in July for nano when I was halfway done with draft 2 of The Dream Walkers

There were a few more questions, but I decided to stop here so I could incorporate another tag, since I'm sort of along that stream.

Abbiee created this ingenious tag a while ago, and I've been wanting to do it ever since. I have a sad amount of trash stories though. Like I said, I didn't jump around much.

But that first series I wrote was enough embarrassment for an eternity.

I'll talk about this book series as a whole.


What horrendous book did you write as a child?

*The series was called Eliza's Tale. 

*I thoroughly planned out each of the nine books it consisted of, including a tenth book that featured the main characters' children.

*I only wrote the first two books, both by hand.

*The main character, Eliza, was a Very Special Muffin Child who was the Only One who could save both our world, and the world she was taken to (after getting kidnapped by evil bad guys).

*There was an evil ice princess. (my favorite line by her was her response to my main character's question--"what's a Finder?"--to which she broke out of her evil monologue and said, "It's complicated. I'll explain later."

*It was basically a monster stew of Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings, and The Last Airbender.


What did you learn from it?


The only reason I have the guts to tell you about this series I want to cringe over is the beautiful and surprising fact that what precious little of this series I put onto paper taught me how to write. 

It taught me how to craft characters that are flesh and blood and have problems and flaws and aren't perfect or desired by everyone. It taught me how to make villains that aren't pure evil and don't make long speeches every two pages.

It taught me how to let my creativity run absolutely bonkers, and to take the craziest of ideas and make sense of it. It taught me how to create a world that my characters could walk across and my fingers could sketch and my plot could dance upon.

This book series that I cringe over is what made me the writer I am today. It taught me everything. Because you have to do a bunch of stupid, embarrassing writing before you can figure out how to craft gold. You have to have some silly, cliche ideas before you can become an imaginative creation queen.

You have to stumble and fall a little before you realize you have wings and can fly. I poured literally thousands of pages into this series and millions of words. I have five notebooks stuffed to the brim with ideas dedicated solely to this series. I spent four whole years of my life on this, countless hours of getting up early and writing with burning eyes, or staying up in the wee hours and scribbling till my hand ached too much to write another word.

Instead of cringing, I have to smile. Because these words, these stories, made me into who I am. And that makes them some of the most precious and beautiful things I own.



What about you? What books did you write as a child? Tell me a bit about your favorite character you've ever written!

<3

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