I don't know about you

but I always imagined in the back of my mind

that the Garden of Gethsemane

was where the choice was made.

that in that moment

he decided to do it

to sacrifice himself

to die

to separate from His Father

and suffer a brutal

agonizing death

apart from God.

did Jesus have faith?

I think He must have had to

because in those moments

He was human

and humans fear.

so with fear in His veins

but God in his heart,

He stepped forward and let Judas kiss His cheek

let the soldiers drag Him away.

but you see, it wasn't over yet.

yes, there's more to the story

but that's not what I mean.

Jesus may have made a choice in that garden

or long, long before

(He came down to earth, did He not?)

but the moment the guards snapped the chains on His wrists

was not the moment of no return.

because Jesus was able to turn back

He was able to step away.

if He wanted to

He could have called down a legion of angels

thousands upon thousands of heavenly warriors

swords raised

light beaming from their faces

in defense of the Son of God

their Brother and King.

He could have looked down

and healed every wound on His body.

with a blink

He could have sent the whip

tearing His back apart

into a thousand flecks of dust.

He could have forced His will upon the screaming mass

and had them cry for Him to be released instead.

He could have asked the guards politely

to lower their weapons

and walk away

and they would have done it.

every single moment

every single breath

every heartbeat that passed

between those chains snapping around His wrists

and the final breath whooshing from His lungs

was a choice.

in any of those moments He could have cried,

"Father!"

and ended it then and there.

no more pain

but freedom

no more sin

but His Father's loving embrace.

but He didn't do it

because the only way He could truly finish it

was to do His Father's will.

so he let them snap the chains on His wrists

when He could have broken them like a twig.

He let the guards push and shove Him

and drag Him into the court

when He could have blinked and had angels at their throats.

He could have said over the screaming mob,

"bow before Me, the King of the earth!"

and every knee would have hit the pavement

if He so desired.

he could have called down God Himself

to lift Him down from the cross.

but He didn't.

instead He stood quietly

and humbly.

the courage He must have had

floors me

for Him to let them drag Him away

to beat Him

and spit on Him

and tear His back to shreds

(how did he hold out

and stay strong through every single lash?)

take a hammer and nail

and drive the stake into his wrists

(how many times did the hammer hit the nail?

how many shaky breaths did He take

to stay brave and let them do it?)

with every lash 

and every beat of the hammer

and every ragged breath 

as he lifted himself up by the spikes in his wrists

to draw in another painful breath

every single breath He had to choose to take

and not to call it all off.

He let them do it. 

He let them do it all.

because He loves us more

than His own life.

how can we love Him

any less?

we often ask ourselves

"would I die for Jesus?"

He died for us, after all.

but the harder question, I think

and the one I ask you now

is "will you live for Him?"

///

Sorry about my absence last week! And I come back now with an unusual post, but this is something I've been thinking about the last few weeks during the Lord's Supper. Jesus had so much courage, and I had never really thought about the fact that He had to keep choosing us. Because at any moment, He could have called it all off. Ended the agony, the suffering, the horror of the cross. But He didn't, and that is something so incredible, I will never be able to comprehend it. Our God is amazing.

How have you guys been? How has the new year started off for you? What do you think about during the Lord's Supper?

<3