Life

Show Up and Give your Best

6:00 AM

Even if it isn't much, show up and give your best.

These words have just come to my heart and I really felt the need to share them with you. I'm not going to lie to you guys. All-things-writing have been really difficult all this year. I'm not sure why, but I'm struggling to get much done.

With my edits, I feel like I'm slogging through mud. I'm only 25k in, and I've been working hard since January. That's six months. It's hard not to feel really lame.

And here, on my blog, I feel like my well has finally gone dry. I stood at the top for two years and lowered the bucket each week, but a few months ago, my bucket scraped a bone-dry bottom. I've been running all over the desert of my mind, searching for a new well or some kind of miracle oasis, but so far my search has been fruitless. I'm empty, and my ideas just aren't coming.

I think my blogging is suffering because my writing is suffering. My creativity has been ground to a halt, and so when it comes time to actually talk about creativity and doing better and improving, I don't have much to say.

Because I haven't done much this year. I haven't improved. At least, I feel like I haven't. Then again, sometimes it's really hard to be sure about these things when it's concerning your own mind. 

One thing I'm having to remind myself with Camp this month is that you just have to write. I've written six complete novels now, and I thought I was past the "wanting to write a perfect first draft" stage of my writing journey. But I'm totally not. I want this book to be pretty and perfect. I want it to be awesome. 

But it has to get written before I can do anything with it, now doesn't it?

And the other day it occurred to me that maybe I should give myself a little more grace here on the blog, too. Every post doesn't have to be a masterpiece. Everything I say doesn't have to be a brilliant, well-worded speech. And that's okay. Giving your best isn't about being the best, but about doing what you can. And if that's a mound of barely coherent words, or a puked up chunk of cringe-worthy dialogue, at least it's not a blank page. 

This post is a little short and a lot ramble-y, but I just want to say that everything you do doesn't have to be perfect. There's a whole lot of stuff we wouldn't get done if we waited for perfection. There are quite a few blog posts I've skipped, quite a few days I didn't edit, because I was waiting for that great feeling to come, that inner strength that makes me feel like I can write, I can do this. But if we wait for perfection, we'll never get anywhere. Sometimes, we have to settle for a little bit of mediocrity. 

What helps me is to remember, I'm doing this for more than just looking good. It's not about how people will fawn over my books someday (which would be super cool). It's not about how someone will sit back and think, man, that was a really enlightening post. It's not about how we look, but what we do. What matters is the effort you put forward, and if it isn't great, then at least you tried, and there's always tomorrow. And you can try again and again, and the more you try, the stronger you get. 

Edit because you love your story. Blog because you love your readers, and want to share your heart with them. Don't worry about who will like and dislike your content. Just create, and let go. Show up, and give your best, whatever that may be. 

How is nano going for you? Are you struggling with perfectionism? If you blog, how has your blogging been treating you? Are you still plowing on, full of energy, or are you struggling to come up with content? Give me your thoughts! 

<3

Plotting

Writing Small

6:00 AM



The first book I ever wrote was 453 pages long. I've estimated that it's around 92k, but I'm not sure, given that I wrote it by hand. Once I did get around to typing it up, it came out at 97k words. As I grew more serious about my writing, I wrote an 85k draft which morphed into a 124k monster. The book I wrote with my cousin was 137k. Our sequel to it is already at 110k, and we're not even done yet.

When I set out to write my first middle grade novel, I knew I needed to write smaller. That didn't really work however, and I ended up with a 94k novel. I thought that was doing well, until I figured out that Middle Grade books were supposed to be 30-60k.

Even now, it's hard for me to imagine such a small book. I think reading so much young adult fiction has made my brain work on that wave length.

You see, I realized after writing that first Middle Grade book--which was The Dream Walkers, by the way!--that plotting for Middle Grade novels is not the same as plotting young adult novels. Young Adult novels are much more complex and intricate. There are multiple plot threads weaving together, lots of characters with lots of issues, and lots of high stake conflicts happening.

Middle Grade is different. It's not that Middle Grade is less intelligently written. Middle Grade writers don't have to dumb stuff down to be at "kid level". Kids are much smarter than most people realize.

But. In order to write a book of appropriate length that will keep children's attention, cutting is required.

My first successful children's book (word count wise) was my July nano novel last year: The House at the End of the Lane. It was a spooky little novel, one that was simple in my mind and didn't require a ton of plotting. I wrote it, and it was 36k. Thirty. Six. That's under half the size of my shortest work.

But it didn't just happen. I planned for this. I read Coraline and took extensive notes, analyzing structure and pacing. I figured out the guidelines of a smaller plot, and I fit that book to those lines.

And it worked! I wrote a short novel! I wrote a Middle Grade book. And I loved it. I can't wait to dig into edits. This month, I'm writing another short and spooky Middle Grade novel, and so far it's going great. 

So what does all this boil down to? 

The structure of a Young Adult novel is very different from the structure of a Middle Grade novel. That's why the sizes are so different. You don't just drop 50k to make a book a "children's book". The entire core of the story has to change. 

If you're struggling writing smaller Middle Grade books, or longer Young Adult novels, read. Read and study the structure of the story. Study the pacing and flow of it. Get familiar with what a 30k word book looks like, vs. a 130k word novel.  

Once you know what the book you want your novel's size to match looks like, go and plot intentionally. With writing small, I had to stop myself from throwing in exciting plot threads that were fun and cool--but would make my word count shoot up. I have one big plot thread and a few tiny others, and that's what my story hinges on. There's not a ton going on behind the scenes. There simply isn't the page time to afford it. 

And lastly, just write the book. It's always nerve wracking for me to write a book with what feels to me like very little plotting. I'm afraid I'll run out of content and the story will end at a meager 20k, and I won't know how to beef it up. But I can, and you can too. That's very important to remember. How can you write fearlessly without first knowing that you can always go back and change things? Writing is different than real life. You can always go back and edit. There's always another draft. 

What's your target audience? Are you doing Camp Nano this month? If so, what are you writing? If not, what are you up to? 

Life

they say we are world changers // a poem

6:00 AM

In the wake of graduation, I've had a lot on my mind and heart. I wrote this poem earlier this week and thought I'd share it with you guys. Remember: it's okay to let yourself not be absolutely amazing. You're right where you need to be, and the big things will come in time. Let yourself find your feet first. <3



they say we are world changers
destined for greatness
we have the earth stretched before us
and the wind at our backs.
nothing is unattainable
so everything should be seized
no holding back, they say
make a difference
shine
step out and become
what you were meant to be.

 they ask where we're going
what our plans are
what we've accomplished
and when we don't answer quickly
they tell us
all the things we've tried to forget
how we've got plenty of time to figure it out
(so why do you keep asking?)
how it'll all come together
and they're sure it will be soon.
there's always tomorrow
(but what if there isn't?)
and there'll be a chance to
make a difference then.

they wonder what our plans are
what we aspire to
and I think why?
their eyes watch as
I fill out those college applications
and scholarship forms
somehow all that I do and have done
it just isn't enough
it will never be enough

but this is what we think.

we say
the world is massive.
why are you urging us to be the ones to change it?
we haven't really found our place in the world yet
we're new at this thing called life.
yes, I want to be a world changer
but can you stop looking at me?
I just stepped out my door
and now
the world is out before me
the largest thing I've ever seen.
I don't know it very well yet
so what makes anyone think i'm ready
or up to changing it?
I barely know what I'm doing
I barely know who I am
much less the world.

we ask
what more do you expect of us?
what will make you happy?
tell me—
I'm dying to know—
what the perfect new adult looks like to you
and once you begin your speech
I will wait for you to stumble
over your elegant description
when you realize this person you're describing
doesn't exist
cannot exist.
you formed an image in your mind
of us being
what you never were.
why do you think we can be perfect
when you could not?
we're all people,
aren't we?

we wonder
how much time do we have
before our chance is gone?
they say we are world changers
but they say nothing about themselves.
are they too old now?
too tied down?
too busy, too involved?
has their chance to make a difference come and gone?
will ours go, too?

they say we are world changers,
but how can we change a world we don't know?
they call us to action
but how can we act before we know what to act on?
there's so much left to see and learn
there's so much left to know
and the pressure is
building building building
nothing we do feels right anymore because
we're so small
nothing's changing
why aren't I making a difference?

oh, my friends.
I've heard it said
(not by me)
and I will say it to you now;
it's okay if you only change one person's world
and it's okay if that person is you.

***

Do you have any thoughts? Have you struggled with all the well meaning questions people ask you? 
<3

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