Embrace It

6:00 AM

I AM BACK. (...obviously)


My brilliant brother worked for an hour to bring my beloved Natasha back to the world of internet and communication (for some reason she wanted to live under a rock) and now I can bring you all a post on this lovely Christmas Eve.

And, no, I'm not talking about Christmas (I love Christmas, don't get me wrong). Sorry. Should I? Maybe ... Hmmmm.

Nah. 



So nano was a thing that happened *sweats nervously* We've all had some time to recover from that, and I'm just getting back into edits on my pre-nano WIP, The Thief's Conspiracy. Before returning to this, however, I had some dark thoughts. I'd read some YA and couldn't help notice the similarities between my stories and others. And I began throwing around dangerous, detrimental questions.

"Why am I writing this book anyway?"

"It's taking so long--is it even worth it? Will anyone even care to read this?"

"It's such a wreck. I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I should just give up."

These thoughts are all very real and very difficult to ignore.

Which is why you shouldn't ignore them. 

Don't pretend they're not there: they are. Don't act like they're not really a problem for you. Acknowledge them. 

Don't push them away. They'll just creep back up in different ways that are harder to see. 

People (or at least, me) tend to think that admitting we have these thoughts and struggles makes us weak and cowardly. That we're being stupid and timid when we dare to utter aloud, "But what if it isn't actually good?"

But that's all wrong. It's totally wrong. The cowardly thing to do is shoving it aside. Why? Because when you're shoving problems and struggles away, you're just taking the easy way out. You're hiding from the battle, not winning it. Shoving them out of sight makes it so no one else can see it. It makes it seem to go away for a bit.  

But really? It's just deeper, buried under thoughts. And sooner or later ...

it

is

going

to 

come

back. 

Burying a fear does not get rid of it. It just gives it more power.

So when you're afraid of something, when you're struggling with something, don't shy from the thought. Sit down and fetch it and examine it. Look for the lie in it. If it's not a lie--just an ugly truth--then think about what you can do to change it. 

This applies to more than just your writing. Thoughts like, "I'm so ugly" "I'll never be good enough" and "No one likes me" are very big fears. Why should we hide them? 

I say embrace them. Embrace the fear, embrace the doubt. Embrace the hurt and embrace the flaws. They're all true to some extent, after all. We shouldn't hide from the truth. 

And then ask why. These are big issues here. We need to properly confront them. If you're getting hunted by an angry rooster, it won't go away if you run and put the barn between you and it. It's still there in the barn, and you're going to have a difficult time thinking about anything else, for fear that it creeps up on you and flogs you. Sure, it might forget about you for a while, but it's still there so the problem still remains.

"We get the point. Where are you going with this?"

Let me give you an example.

"I'm so ugly."

I'm sure this is a thought we can all relate to. We've all looked at ourselves in the mirror and disliked what we saw. So rather than just shoving that aside and saying, "No, don't think that. It's not true," just stop for a second. Look in the mirror and really let yourself think that thought that's usually just a little nag in the back of your mind, a nasty whisper in your ear.

"I'm so ugly."

Look at yourself. Why are you saying that? On what grounds has this fear taken hold? Do you really think that, or is it just a fear? And if you really think that, why? What part of yourself do you think is ugly, and why do you think those parts are ugly?

I'll use another little example. I have freckles. Lots of them. They cover my face and arms and legs. My skin is also a little reddish, to top that all off. And that's really a big insecurity for me. I always used to think my freckles were so ugly, and I would write my characters as having "pale faces" because in my little mind, pale and clear skin was beautiful skin.

Why did I think that? I'm not really sure. But we have a way of seeing something that's completely opposite of what we are and thinking it's beautiful--and since it's the complete opposite of what we are, that must make us ugly, right?

See, look at this progress. We've let ourselves think this thought and given it the recognition it was probably cowering from. Because when you recognize it, sometimes that's really all it takes to realize how stupid it is. Once confronted with the truth, lies have a way of crumbling and collapsing. Ugly truths are harder to overcome and get peace with.

Don't be cautious to think. Be cautious to hide from the questions and thoughts and fears. 


Well, I totally went on a rambling rant. (this post actually started out on a completely different subject oops) I hope this might have helped some of you in some small way. And that it, you know, makes sense. *sometimes doesn't actually make sense oops oh well*

What are some thoughts and fears you struggle with? How do you overcome them? 

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8 comments

  1. I'm so glad you're back! *big hug* As usual you have such words of wisdom, and have really made me think. <3 I've struggled with how I look like most people, but thankfully I quite like my freckles. :) I'm also extremely conscious of my weight, but a method I'm trying right now to face these whispers in my mind seems to be working so far. It sounds a bit intimidating, but I stare at myself in the mirror (I mean direct eye-to-eye staring) and say the whisper out loud. If it sounds stupid, then I'll tell myself that it's a lie, not a truth. It's hard to face yourself when you say lies like 'I'm ugly' or 'I'm fat.'
    Again, so happy you're back! I hope you had a great Christmas! XD

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    1. I'm so glad to have made you think! That's my goal with every post :D And oh goodness that is such a good idea. O.O I really struggle with my weight too (so much so I wasn't quite ready to write about it) and I really want to try that. I've been focusing a lot on how I look the way I look, and that's that, and I'm this way for a reason and I'm still beautiful, and that my body is just an incredible creation of God. It's hard to think so badly of yourself when you still can't get over just how incredible you are. :D

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  2. I love your rambling rants, they are always so relevant to something I am dealing with. :D

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    1. Ahhh that makes me so so happy! :D

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  3. This was such a wonderful post!

    I guess many people feel ugly because that's what people made them think...

    I hope you don't think freckles are ugly now, you've probably seen people use fake freckles in their make up routines xD

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    1. Eeehehe that's always amused me. And I'm getting over the freckle issue slowly. It's kind of nice sometimes, as it hides acne XP

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  4. This was such a great post! I especially love when you said the whole "hiding from the battle" thing. You worded it perfectly. :)
    -Emma-
    P.S. I can totally relate to feeling like my posts make no sense. Whenever I write advice, I'll be unable to make any sense out of it, but only hope other people can! XD

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    1. Ah I'm glad! Hehe yup. I'm never sure if people will understand, so I just suck it up and hit publish and hope for the best XP

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