A Different Kind of Beautiful

6:00 AM

So most of you probably know the wonderful Aimee human. She is brilliant and started a new blog HERE. Which you should totally go follow right now.

I was reading through her posts (because my laptop wouldn't let me view her site when she first put it up? Natasha, why) and I found this one. Your first assignment is to go read it, because it is AMAZING. It also inspired a sequel to one of my most popular posts on this blog: a post about the monstrous beast of comparison.




I've never really been the best at confidence. But there are so many lovely bloggers out there that have been sharing confidence-y thoughts lately, and it's been like a blow to the noggin. I'm finally really getting a grasp as to what true confidence is. And some people have different definitions than I might, but here's the Hannah's definition because this is my corner where you will get All My Opinions.


Confidence is when you can walk into a room and not feel better than everyone, but feel happy in yourself knowing that you don't have to be better than anyone. 

This is a quote based on what my youth minister told us when giving a lesson full of quotes. I don't know who said it, but it's so true. If you stop and think about it, what causes us to be insecure in the first place?

Comparison. Looking at other people and realizing that we're not like them in certain ways. And being angry or upset that we're not like them.

We look. And we compare. And then we feel bad about ourselves.

But what if we didn't do that?

What if when we looked at others, we could see them as they are? What if when we looked at others, we were able to see them as God does, see the talents God gave them and admire how amazing they are?

What if we looked at others and appreciated them and their abilities and talents and didn't let it hit us in the gut?

If we can just take a step back from ourselves and stop comparing everything to us, life would be so much more beautiful.

We'd see that we don't have to be like everyone. We don't have to be uber skilled with youtube videos or singing or photography. We have strengths in other areas. It doesn't make that person any less amazing. It just means you're both amazing in your own unique ways.

And I know that sounds a little cliche. You've heard it before. "Everyone's amazing in their own ways." Yeah, yeah.

But guys. It's true. It's so, so true I just wanna SHOVE THE TRUTH IN YOUR FACES. Comparison is the bane of confidence. It's the bane of what God wants us to see ourselves as. And we need to stop doing it. 

"But how do I do that, Hannah? How do I just decide not to compare myself to other people anymore? How do I just look at myself and appreciate myself?"

First off, stop looking at other people for a bit. If you're not in a place where you can handle appreciating others achievements, then don't look at them. Just spend some time reflecting on your heart and mind. Maybe write down some things about yourself that you like and love. Some things you are proud of.

And then I want you to write down some things you don't like. Some things you're not proud of.

Look at those things and ask yourself--why aren't you proud of them? Are they bad? If they are bad (like a sin you struggle with, or a flaw you're trying to grapple) is there a way you can fix it? A way you can mend it or fight it? Examine some of those sneaky things that seem bad. Are they really? The way you laugh too loud--is that really a bad thing you should be embarrassed by? Are you embarrassed when someone else laughs too loud? The way your hair won't be curly or straight and is just a floppy mess--is that really such a bad thing? Is it really such a "mess"?

Often the reason we feel bad about certain aspects of ourselves roots back to comparison. We might not like our moody hair because that girl has perfect spiral curls, or, that girl's hair is so smooth and straight IT'S LIKE WATER AND SO BEAUTIFUL. 

But just because straight hair and curly hair are pretty doesn't mean anything else is ugly. It doesn't mean that those are The Two Types of Pretty Hair and nothing else at all is even close to pretty. And you have to have one or the other or else YOUR HAIR IS UGLY. Nope. Nope, nope, nope. JUST PLEASE. NO. CAN I SAY NO ENOUGH?

I guess that's the overall point I'm trying to make here.

Look at those things you thought were flaws, and then look again. Are they really flaws? Or have you just been conditioned to think they are because there's another way that it could be that would qualify as "pretty"?

I beg you, plead with you, to remember this: just because something else is good, doesn't mean something different can't be good too.

That amazing book you read yesterday? That doesn't make the amazing book so-and-so read horrible, even though they're different books. They are both amazing books.

That poem so-and-so wrote? Beautiful. Just like the poem her friend wrote. They are both beautiful works.

Need I press on? Need I say more?

Step back and look again.

There are more than one types of beautiful.

Do you struggle with comparison? What are some methods you've found to battle it? 

<3

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10 comments

  1. Beautiful, beautiful post my friend. <3 <3 <3 Comparison is always something I struggle with, in all areas of my life, but when I find myself feeling down that I don't look or write or do things a certain way, I have to catch myself. Say, "okay, why am I feeling this way?" The comparison trap is not easy to break out of, but I might have to pull up your post when I'm in it.

    Thanks so much for this lovely reminder! You're amazing. <3

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    1. Aw <3 It's so easy to forget to fight it. But fight it! <3

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  2. Your post always put things into perspective. Thank you for writing this, it's so needed and beautiful.

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  3. Oh my gosh, yes. This was so wise and full of great practical advice and was just exactly what I needed. I LOVE this post. <3 I am going to write out those positive thoughts as well as flaws and take some time to examine them soon. This post is just....perfect. Thank you <3

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    Replies
    1. I'm so glad it helped you! Love yourself. You're worth it <3

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  4. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this reminder.

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  5. Eeep this post is so nice! I do struggle with comparison a lot for writing...like I see all these amazing authors out there achieving ALL THE THINGS and my own writing-journey so rarely goes how I want it to. 😝 But like so what, Cait!????? I just need to learn that there are a million ways to go about doing things and it's way more satisfying to be happy doing the best you can than to constantly hate on yourself for not being as good as someone else. Particularly when "good" is so relative! I soooo agree that there are a million types of beautiful. ❤️❤️ And "beautiful" does not have to be "perfect" either.

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  6. YES, LORD.
    THIS IS STRAIGHT FIRE. gah, thank you times a million for this.

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