was it enough?

11:17 AM

I'm sitting on my bed right now. It's December first, and I'm gazing at the mostly empty page in blogger, wondering what to write.

This month was crazy. This month was stressful. This month was filled with words and excitement and confusion and doubts and happiness and fear and dread and hope all wound up in a ball that hurtled into my eye and began slamming against my nose repeatedly.

Yeah, that's how my month went :P 

For those of you who don't know, I went into this year's nano without a plotline. Now, some of you pantsers might look at me like, "So?" And any plotters out there are probably gasping in horror and praying that whatever possessed me to do such a thing will leave at once. 

I tried to plot this book for two years, and it didn't work. So I decided to finally just write it, and let the story tell itself. 

It ... kind of worked? But mostly, it didn't. XP I made a lot of breakthroughs, but not as many as I'd hoped. I think the answer to book two is in book one, but I only know that the key to the answer is there. I don't know the answer.

If that makes ... any sense? 

#whennanostealsyourwords

ANYWAY. Point is, this novel is kind of a mess. It's also unfinished. 

I hit the 50k, but that was it. And right now, I'm not sure I'm going to finish it. The Dream Walkers is calling my name, and I want to have it ready for betas sometime January-Februaryish. So the characters of The Thief's Conspiracy are going on hold once more. 

I look back at this month, and I see all the stress. I see the sore motivation that brought me to my laptop every day that I was able to write, and I see the painstaking taps on my keyboards. One after the other after the other.


Was it enough? 

I don't really know. I feel like I should have done more. Should have figured out the plot of this book that's been driving me crazy for two years. I feel like I could have gotten all the answers, if I'd just been smart or clever enough to catch them as they breezed by. 

But I didn't.

Was it enough?

I made some breakthroughs. But there's still so much work to be done. And, I'll admit it: I'm exhausted. I just want to read right now. I want to read words by other people. I want to venture into their worlds, listen to their characters and see their stories. 

I'm done with mine for a while. 

If you don't feel like nano went that great for you, I encourage you to step back for a bit. Give yourself a few days to breathe and read and see the world around you (and maybe say hello to your family...maybe). 

Do all that, and remember: as long as you did and do your best, that's enough.

Sorry for missing last week's post! Nano swallowed me whole. And I had this all good to go last night but stupidly forgot to publish it? LOL. I was tired. Nano stole my words AND my brain, it seems. Sigh. Hopefully by next week I'll have myself together again. XP

Sorry if that was mildly rant-y. In my defense, it's late. XP How did November go for you guys, nano-ers and others? Do you feel like it was enough? Talk to me! I love you guys.  

<3

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13 comments

  1. *hugs* Yes, it was enough. <3 <3 <3 I'm so proud of you for hitting the 50K and pushing through even without a plot!

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    1. Thank you, lovely! :) Same to you!!

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  2. GIRL YOU GOT 50K OF COURSE THAT WAS ENOUGH -- although, when is anything in our imperfect lives 'enough'?? only Jesus is perfect, k? try your best, but don't kick yourself when you don't reach your own "standards." you got 50k. FOCUS ON THAT. like, I didn't even write a word this month and, oh well. I used to stress out about it but now it just doesn't matter. live is lived, and...life isn't all about writing the words.

    (but honestly, I'm amazed at you for getting 50k WITHOUT A PLOT. LIKE WAHT. go you XD)

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    Replies
    1. Life is lived. Those are good words :) Yeah, I’m happy and thankful with how this year went, even if it was different!

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  3. Well at least you got to write it! I'm a pantser so of course I'll be supportive but these days, I'm looking for ways to plot my story because there always NEEDS to be some outline done or else editing will be a pain :(

    Are you going to plot the rest of it now?

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    Replies
    1. Yes! Im happy I wrote what I did! I’m not sure when I’m going to finish draft 1, but it might be a while. I’ve got to revisit book 1 to fully plot book 2 and ... it’s complicated :P

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  4. GIRL when did you get this lovely template? So beautiful <3
    Michaila
    seventytimeseven.com

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  5. I think that as long as you did your best, with what time you had, you did enough. As Robert E Lee once said, "Do your duty in all things. You can never do more, you should never wish to do less."

    (Sorry, I'm a Southern gal XD so pardon that if you must...)

    And it's okay to let a story sit so you can get another done. Just don't do it every few days, or you'll never get anything finished.

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  6. YES YES YES, it's absolutely enough :) You put forth a ton of dedication, time and energy into your project, that is what's truly important. AND you hit 50k which is amazing!! I totally understand where you're coming from since my novel isn't finished either, and it needs a lot of work. But I remind myself it's not a race and 50k in 30 days is something to be PROUD of. Yes, definitely enough!

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  7. I just happened on your blog, and I wanted to say, congratulations for even starting your book!!! Now you can make that decision on whether it's meant to be, instead of just thinking "I must figure out this story" for the rest of your life ;). And now that it's written and you can see what's NOT working, maybe you will learn what will!
    Blessings, Bri
    www.forget-not-his-benefits.blogspot.com

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  8. so I actually relate to this a lot, as I had a similar thing this NaNo. I went in with a vague idea of what was going to happen but no proper plan or plot, I was literally making it up as the month went along. bUT GIRL - you got 50k, of course it's enough. it's far more than enough - I only got 24.5k but we need to learn to be content, as it's still amazing! (also can't believe I've never been on your blog before:O)

    Lexie x
    www.whatlexieloves.blogspot.com

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    1. (also wow the name of your blog basically sums up my book's aesthetic wow oh my gosh!)

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  9. This is exactly how I've been feeling. But y'know, at least we did it. We wrote 50K. So now we just have to go from here. <3

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